Break

You know what? I need to take a break. I’m not doing well at this, because my heart isn’t in it. I need to take a break, re-evaluate, and get my motivations in order before I start again.

I WILL be starting again.

Be back soon!

R2P2 - The Second Week

Ok, so Week Two didn’t start out real well, here are the three weights I did take...and thinking positive for Week Three! lol

October 27 – up 2.2lbs from a tsp of Miracle Whip Light :-(

October 28 – up 2.2lbs from Chinese food :-(

October 29 – down 0.4lbs, going in the right direction again!

R2P2 - The First Week

It took two false starts and five pounds for motivation, but I’m truly in first week of Round Two. Yayy, I can’t wait to get skinny! I’m doing this round until I lose 30lbs, hoping to have better luck with a poundage goal instead of a timeframe.

October 20 – starting out at 215.8

October 21 - down 1.2lbs!

October 22 – down 2.6lbs!!

October 23 – down 2.2lbs!!

October 24 – down 0.4lbs!

October 25 – down 1.2lbs!

October 26 – down 1.0lbs!

Total Loss: 8.6lbs for the week, I’m almost a third of the way to my goal!!!

Pumpkin Mocha: Seriously Yum!

I found a recipe on an HCG Recipes blog, and its way yum.

Pumpkin Mocha: Coffee, one tablespoon of milk, 1/2 teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice, and dark chocolate or milk chocolate stevia, blended until frothy.

Becka’s Version: Coffee, one tablespoon of milk, 1/2 teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice, one tablespoon of dark chocolate cocoa powder, and two tablespoons of Splenda. Mixed until smooth.

Lovely for this cold fall day!

R1P3 and R1P4

August 15-21: weight has fluctuated between 206.4 and 208.4lbs. I pretty much went right in P4, I haven’t avoided the starches.

August 22-28: weight has fluctuated between 207.6 and 208.4 (had one day that jumped to 211.0, but was back down to 208.4 the next day, just by drinking more water!)

August 29-September 4: I’m ok with a few pounds on either side as long as its not a steady increase. So far so good! I ended this week at 209.2, which was within my range. I’ll admit I’m eating alot of crap food, and still staying under 210. I’m really surprised, I think this whole diet thing works??

September 5-September 11: moved above my limit, I’m currently at 211.0, but I’m not concerned because its TOM and I haven’t been drinking any water. Naughty! I ended the week at 208.9lbs.

Immunity!

I think I’ve become immune….

The last three days have been awful, I have been SO hungry and not feeling good. There is a level of fatigue with this diet after six weeks, and I wonder if Dr. Simeon knew that the human mind can’t deal with restrictions like this for more than six weeks? Whether is physical or mental, I’ve decided for my sanity (and the safety of my husband and co-workers!) to move into Phase 3. Here’s to a new phase!

R1P2 - The Seventh Week

August 8 - no loss/gain, but I can’t complain with good losses yesterday!

August 9 - up 1.0lbs, probably due to potato salad! lol

August 10 – no loss/gain, phew!

August 11 – up 1.4lbs, naughty day yesterday…

August 12 – up 0.6lbs, yikes! But back on the wagon today…

August 13 – down 2.6lbs, yay for the protocol!

August 14 - down 2.0lbs! Last P2 weigh in day, yay!!

Weight Analysis: Last P2 weight is 206.4lbs. That’s 23.4lbs lost in seven weeks!!

Physical: My face is thinner, I’ve lost pudge rolls around my ribcage, and I can feel my hip bones again!

Thoughts

This has been a rough week! But I’m learning alot of things…

•I’m learning that I need to not put myself in the situation of temptation and expect to make it out alive. Just say no to chinese food.

•Like any other diet, this one is only as good as the effort you put into it. If I don’t work it, it won’t.

•Apple cider vinegar (ACV) is amazing for the weight loss, but even with the organic I still give an involuntary shudder when I see the bottle.

•I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful husband who is so supportive that he’s doing a three week round with me, to lose 15lbs yes, but mostly to help me stay motivated.

•I’m also so lucky to have my wonderful friend Stacey who has come in to kick my ass into gear at just the right times.

•I’ve learned that you should never undervalue soft toilet paper, especially when you drink 4 1-liter bottles of water a day, and pee an average of 5 times per bottle.

•Rotisserie spice doesn’t have sugar or starch in it, and is amazing on chicken.

•I love how my body is changing- this protocol has made me feel like I have control over what happens to my body and how I look.

So those are my thoughts for this week! I’m ready to keep going, and make sure I’m skinnier than my husband before his three weeks are up!

Cheats

We went to my parents and I did my usual weekend screw up, and am now up a pound- but I’ve gotten rather pragmatic about cheats. It has to be something I’ve been dying to have, and I have a tiny amount of it. Of the spread that my Mom put out, I had a small spoonful of potato salad.

I know cheating is not in my best interest- but I do feel like, to some extent, it helps me for the time ahead. She had any number of things I could have binged on, but I only wanted two things and I had the amounts I needed to satisfy myself, not a bite more. In some way, I was intentional about it! I wasn’t going to waste a cheat on something I don’t like that much, and I ate much less than I have on previous cheats. It was interesting to observe my level of self-control, and it makes me feel like maybe I’ll survive P3 and P4 after all!

Week Six Pictures

R1P2 - The Sixth Week!

I can’t believe I’m in the sixth week already, over halfway through!

August 1 – down 1.2lbs, a new low!

August 2 – up 2.0lbs, after cheating on Saturday…

August 3 – up 1.0lb, hello water retention! Wish I knew why, but my fingers are like sausages.

August 4 - down 2.0lbs! Feeling tons betteur now!

August 5 – no loss/gain. Is this the stairstep weight loss they talk about?

August 6 - down 1.2lbs, I think we’re stairstepping it!

August 7 - down 2.6lbs, loving the apple cider vinegar!

Weight Analysis – down 6.8lbs, 3.8 including the cheats. Not bad! Starting apple cider vinegar (2 Tb) a day has had some impressive losses, definitely going to do that again!

Physical – size 18 pants are baggy! My XXL tops are way too big, and the XL are just barely passable at work. I was demonstrating to someone how big my pants are, and almost pantsed myself! A coworker told me I’m wasting away. :-D

Rounds and Phases, Pounds and Inches!

Now most people call this last week the end of Phase 2 and move on to Phase 3, as per Dr. Simeon’s protocol. The reasoning was because of the immunity that the body can build up towards the Hcg. Immunity has been shown to be less of an issue with the homeopathic Hcg, and some people have had good luck with continuing all the way through to their weight loss goal, and then stabilizing with P3 and P4. Others have had a real hard time stabilizing and been forced to do another round of P2 and then going into P3.
The results are mixed, but I’ve made the decision to continue with P2 for another four weeks. The end of those four weeks marks the beginning of our family vacation to Michigan, and it will be easier for me to survive the week if I’m on P3! I had considered going all the way through to my goal on R1, but I think for my sanity it would be best to have the break in the middle.

Now I’m a very particular planner (obsessive-compulsive? lol) so I have it mapped out to goal. With the three weeks of P3 and three weeks of P4, I’ll be starting R2P2 on October 17th! If all goes well with extending P2, I’ll continue on R2P2 until we go to Mississippi for Christmas on December 23rd, so R2P2 would be approximately 9 weeks. When we get back, P3 and P4 push things out to the end of January and I can hopefully take care of those last few pounds in a normal length round. Perfect timing, because P4 would start around the time that we want to start trying to start a family! My ultimate goal for my weight loss is to be a hot sexy pregnant mama, so the timing would be great if it works out like that.

When we decided in January of this year that we wanted to start trying for a family next spring, I panicked when I thought of adding pregnancy weight and risks to my 237lb body. I started in earnest, but was so frustrated after 5 months of restrictive eating and exercise yielded a loss of only 7.2lbs. I read a saying that said the future will be here, regardless if we achieve what we want in the time that passes, which made me really think about the fact that I want to achieve my goal weight before we get pregnant- because that time will be here, whether or not I lose the weight. So I’m doing it, and I’m so thankful for Hcg!

Yay for Water!

I’ve made the discovery that my water intake is often the difference between losing or gaining! Thanks to ashlinimartini on the Low Carb Friends message boards, I’ve been adding a teaspoon of lemon juice and a quarter cup of Splenda to my liter water bottles, making it even easier to get my water in.

I have the habit of flipping the water bottle up and chugging it, my husband says it looks like a hamster and its water bottle. lol

Snuggling with Max and doing a hamster impression...

R1P2 - The Fifth Week

July 25 – up 0.2lbs, not enough water!

July 26 – up 2.0lbs, I really think I have a problem with potato salad…

July 27 – down 0.4lbs, Smooth Move tea is en route, I’m really quite sure if I could get this GI issue under control, I’d be down 5lbs! lol

July 28 – down 1.2lbs, the water is totally key….and thank god for Smooth Move Tea!

July 29 – down 2.0lbs! Ok, water is it…the more I drink, the more I lose!

July 30 - up 0.2lbs, well pooh. I’m wondering if the 99% fat free chicken broth is the culprit?

July 31 – down 0.2lbs – yep, I think its the chicken broth!

Weight Analysis – I’m down 3.8lbs, not including the 2.2lbs I gained. Can I get through a week without sneaking the potato salad I wonder?? My end of week weight is 210.4lbs, very close to being out of the 2-teens!

Physical – Everything fits better! I’m wearing a shirt that was too tight, and it looks good! Getting compliments from people too, which makes my day. Week five pictures coming soon!

R1P2 - The Fourth Week

July 18 – down 1.0lbs, which means I’m only 0.6lbs away from my first mini-goal, my wedding day weight!

July 19- up 1.0lbs, could someone tattoo it on my forehead, do not eat the potato salad!

July 20- down 1.0lbs, I really just need to forget about potato salad. lol

July 21- no loss/gain, hmmm…

July 22- down 0.6lbs, ok, back on track now…

July 23- down 0.2lbs, mehh…

July 24- down 2.0lbs! Was I in a plateau?

Weight Analysis: I’m down 3.8lbs for the week, down to 211.8lbs. Woo hoo! A total of 18.0lbs for the protocol, impressive!

Physical: Can definitely see that my face is thinner, and I can really see definition in my waist. My boobs look bigger!

I got the first of five rewards I have set (yes I have to be bribed) and the first one of them is a purse by B. Makowsky. I hit (and now am below!) the weight I was the day I got married. The purse is a bit extravagant for a weight-loss reward, but I decided that for them to really be worth working for, it has to be something I really want!

R1P2 - The Third Week

July 11 – down 1.2lbs, officially into the 210’s!!

July 12 – down 0.8lbs!

July 13 – up 0.4lbs – I was naughty, I had a piece of cheese last night.

July 14 – down 0.8lbs! I’m drinking lots of water, the dry skin is much better!

July 15 – no loss/gain – I had Ryvita crackers yesterday, going to skip that today and see if I lose!

July 16 – down 1.2lbs! Two compliments today on how good I look- and I bought shirts a size smaller last night!

July 17 – down another 1.2lbs! I’m 0.6 away from the weight I was the day I got married…wow!

Weight Analysis: Total weight loss this week was 4.8lbs, with my ending weight for the week at 215.6lbs. I’ve lost a total of 15.2lbs in three weeks!

Physical: My dress pants are almost baggy in the butt, and I just bought a couple Life is Good tshirts in Large! This week I noticed my hipbones when I put my hands on my hips- why hello old friends, haven’t seen you for awhile!

Tilapia with Basil and Tomatoes

This is a variation on a recipe I saw involving chicken and asparagus, so I gave it a try! I love garlic (I’m Italian, go figure) so I was pretty heavy-handed with it, but you can substitute whatever spices you prefer. I served it with 2 pieces of Kavli pesto crispbread.

100g white fish (I used tilapia)
1 tomato, diced
2 tsp lemon juice
2 basil leaves (I used fresh)
garlic powder/onion powder to taste

Put fish in the middle of a large piece of aluminum foil, and place diced tomatoes on top. Mix up lemon juice with garlic and onion powder, then pour over fish. Wrap the fish up so that its sealed within the foil, and put in toaster oven on 400 degrees for 15 minutes or until done. Serve and enjoy!

The entire meal came out to be 145 calories and 2.5 grams of fat according to Spark People’s Nutrition Tracker!

Inspiration

Its fun to see pictures of people who have done it and had fantastic success. This woman is officially my new heroine, she looks amazing.
Marie’s Weight Loss Journey - check out her Photo Album!

R1P2 - The Second Week

July 4 – down 0.2lbs – but had a major cheat day at my parent’s 4th of July barbeque. I regret it, but I don’t think I’ve ever savored my food quite so much, it was amazing!

July 5 – up 3.2lbs – OMG! Yep, the consequences were swift and painful.

July 6 – down 0.8lbs – the pigging out was so stupid!

July 7 – no gain/loss – not sure?

July 8 – down 2.2lbs! Biggest loss in one day, but still 0.2lbs short of my July 4th morning weight.

July 9 – down 1.0lbs! Yay, surpassed the July 4th weight, finally!

July 10 – down 1.0lbs! Soo close out of the 220’s, I can’t believe it!

Weight Analysis: I lost only 1.6lbs due to my cheat day. I can’t say it was worth it, but at least I know what will happen! My ending weight for the week was 220.4. Total weight lost is 9.4lbs since the beginning, which is impressive! My average daily loss is 0.8lbs a day, even with the cheat day.

Physical: I think I can see a difference in the contouring on my thighs, and my arms! This past week I wore a pair of size 18 pants that was too tight on loading day #2. Woo hoo!

R1P2 - The First Week

June 29 - down 1.8lbs! Good way to start.

June 30 – down 2.8lbs!

July 1 – down 1.8lbs!

July 2 – up 0.2lbs, but I didn’t drink any water on 7/1

July 3 – down 1.4lbs!

Weight Analysis: I was down a grand total of 7.6lbs! End of the week weight was 222.2. WOW!

Physical: I swear my dress pants are getting loose in the thighs, but I can’t quite tell yet.

R1P2 - Day 1 & 2

Loading days – gag! I ate so much fat I swore it was going to start coming out my pores. By the end of loading day #2, I was so ready to stop eating.

My starting weight was 229.8 on the end of the second loading day. We were on vacation the two days prior, so I don’t know how much weight I gained in the loading days! My BMI was exactly 37.

So these are my starting pictures that Marmot sweetly agreed to take. Its funny to see how nauseated I look in these pictures.

A New Beginning...

I started this journey in January and stopped writing in May, only a few pounds less than where I had started...

What's changed since then? Not much in terms of my weight, I'm still at about 230lbs and unhappy with my weight.

But I have a new plan....

It started with a training session at work, with a trainer sent by the company. She and I hit it off, and were chatting between sessions. We got to talking about dieting, she said she was dieting- and had lost 35lbs in six weeks. Whooa- what?? She told me about the Hcg diet, with injections and a 500 calorie a day diet. I was, of course, skeptical. Anyone can lose 35lbs in six weeks on only 500 calories a day. I’ve done it! She told me yes, but the difference was that she wasn’t hungry. Now you diet veterans know that at 500 calories a day, you’d eat wallpaper if it was grilled and had a little salt. She also told me that you don’t end up with the saggy skin- something that always grossed me out with the Biggest Loser contestants- they look like empty balloons. She urged me to do some internet research, and so I did. And it wasn’t so much what I read as what I saw that made me sit up and pay attention. The before/after pictures were stunning. Like wow.

I was excited, but the idea of buying drugs from overseas was unsettling. And it takes so long! So I decided to give the homeopathic Hcg drops a try. I’ve used homeopathic remedies in the past, and they defy medical explanation- but then again, so does Hcg! I bought the drops, a giant box of grissini imported from Italy, a food scale, and today I begin.

I’m taking weekly pictures (or trying to at least) and chronicling how things go. When I was looking at the concept of Hcg dieting, the personal journeys of people like me were the most comforting, and seeing their progress was encouraging. I hope that this blog can maybe do the same for someone else who is searching, as well as a continued source of accountability for me...

And off we go!

To Talk (or Not to Talk)

Ok, I'm embarrassed. I haven't blogged in 12 days. And I was probably apologizing for how long its been since I'd blogged in that post too.

My excuse is that I've been working on a non-weight loss blog. A family blog actually, for my husband and I. My SIL and her husband have one that I've enjoyed reading over the years, especially now with baby-belly pictures being posted (*sigh*) and since our extended families are spread across the country, we decided it was time for us to have our own blog. But it won't say a thing about weight loss.

This is something I've been reading about and thinking about the last few weeks. Spark People suggests talking about your weight loss, because you can get support (sometimes from unlikely places) and verbalizing things can help make them 'real'. And also the aspect of not wanting to let people down, once they know that you're trying to attain a healthy lifestyle its harder to eat half the pan of office brownies in their vicinity.

But then there is the otherside which suggests not telling anyone. That sometimes the support is less than stellar. And oftentimes the eating well becomes more of a production, and that level of 'stage-fright' can lead to sneaky-eating and binges. I tend to fall into this category. For me it also encompasses some level of denial about the fact that I let my weight get out of control- if I don't acknowledge it, and no one else acknowledges it, its not for real right? Talk about the elephant in the room. lol

However I do have a few select people that know about this- my Biggest Loser comrades, my friend Judy, and my Mom and sisters (who also deal with their weight issues). Support is a good thing.

I'd love to hear from you all- do you talk about your weight loss? Why or why not?

Observations of Purposeful Eating

So our trip was an opportunity for me to get to know my mother-in-law (I've only actually met her in person five times!) and also, incidentally, to observe her eating habits.

A lifelong skinny person, my MIL has what I have called Purposeful Eating habits.

*She takes small bites, and chews everything before another bite. No shoveling.
*She's very picky about what she actually takes a bite of, such as breaking off a piece of orange that seemed tough.
*She budgets her food, light breakfast knowing we'd be eating out for lunch.

It was interesting to watch. It got even more interesting with the book I got in the airport bookstore, called I Can Make You Thin. I don't so much go for the hypnosis side of things, but the four rules of eating really were good when I practiced all four of them at an airport restaurant.

1) Eat Only When You're Hungry
Its a duh thing, but how often do I eat something because its lunch time, or worse, because its there?

2) Eat What You Want, Not What You Think You Should
It talks about how your body will crave what you need. I believe it, because I crave vegetables and amazingly enough will realize I haven't had many lately. It also mentioned a study (I haven't found it yet) about toddlers who were given 24-hour access to a whole range of foods, from spinach to ice cream. Being allowed to eat whatever they want, whenever they want, they actually ate a completely balanced diet in a 30-day period. Your body really actually is that smart!

3) Enjoy Every Mouthful
I'm the queen of multi-tasking while eating. Computer, tv, work, phone, everything. I sat in the airport to eat my dinner and didn't do anything else. I'm realizing how much better food tastes when I slow down to enjoy it.

4) Stop When You Are Full
It was amazing, I was full (and stayed full) with a fraction of the food that I would have thought I'd eat.

I'm not a convert to his method, but the food guides were good reminders of things I already knew, and needed refreshed. These are definitely habits that my MIL employs! The jury is still out on the hypnosis and the tapping, but I'll let you know the results if I decide to give them a try! ;-)

Hope you all are having a fabulous week!

Vacation!

Marmot and I went to Roanoke Virginia and spent a few days with my in-laws. Its gorgeous out there, the mountains are amazing. We slept late, went sightseeing, and just generally relaxed.

Marmot and I on Mill Mountain


Lee's Chapel in Lexington, Virginia


The Natural Bridge of Virginia

Momentum

So my calories this week have been in the 1800-2000 range (slightly over yesterday with Mom's homemade macaroni and cheese, but it was worth it!) and I'm a happy girl. I can feel this becoming normal, like I know I could eat like this forever. Its a good feeling, I feel like I have some momentum!

The best part is that I feel SO much better having more to eat, like I can actually FEEL my body working better. I'm wide awake in the morning, no coffee needed, and I haven't been cranky. Its amazing! I haven't jumped back into the exercise yet, its been a little busier at work this week since I'm gone all next week, and coming back in time for a big presentation next Friday. But all next week we're on vacation, and I'm planning on long walks with my husband and in-laws.

And I'm totally over the baby name thing with my SIL...I have names that are NOT on her list, like Isla and Juliet (although my husband thinks they're both bizarre- lol) And Carlos- I love the name Bella! I actually used to like the name Lucy too, but it has a weird vibe to it now....lol

We're starting to get ready for our trip to Virginia- and by starting to get ready, I mean I think I know where the suitcases are, and I still have no clean laundry. Hmm.

Hope you all are having a fabulous week- we can do this, one change at a time!

Breaking News!!

I think I know why I haven't been losing weight!!!!!!

Breefawn on Spark People (love love love that site) had something about Basal Metabolic Rate on her SparkPage, so I calculated mine. My body uses 1810 calories a day for breathing, pumping blood, metabolizing food, just existing! I had set my calories at 1500-1700 (based on a calculator I did in January-ish). Which means I wasn't even eating enough calories for my body to exist, let alone adding in all the amazing exercise I've been doing! Bree suggested eating at least my BMR in calories, and if I'm still hungry to eat no more than half of what I did in exercise.

And it gets better:

MrsPrincess07 (also on SP) said here's a calculator to figure out what you should be eating everyday based on your weight, height, age and body fat. To lose weight, it said I should be eating between 2081-2212 or 2007-2133 calories a day based on light activity 1-3 days a week. OMG!

http://www.freedomfly.net/Documents/calorie_calculator.xls

SO. I'm re-adjusting my calories to I think 1800-2000 a day. And I'm going to keep doing the exercise, because I love it! And I am SOOOOO excited!!

Venting

Every once in awhile, you just need to let it all out. Despite the NSV's, I'm in a slump and not happy about life. My Mom says sometimes you just have to erupt and get it out of your system. Well, here it is.

*I have been ramping up the physical activity and cutting the calories (1500-1700) and have only been over 1700 twice this week, and one of them wasn't even over 1800. I've emphasized fruits and veggies (no less than 4 servings a day, but 8 almost half the week). And after all that I have not lost a single damn pound. I wasn't expecting a 20lb weight-loss from the week and a half of effort, but seriously, not even half a pound??

*My Biggest Loser buddies are doing extremely well, and I'm barely keeping it under my starting weight.

*I'm actually flipping out over my sister-in-law who is (not only naturally skinny) but adorably pregnant, and has taken what I've irrationally considered MY baby girl names of Charlotte and Ella.

*We're leaving in less than a week to spend 6 days with my in-laws. I hate traveling, and my MIL makes me nervous.

*My house is a disaster, and I'm so behind on laundry that I'm almost out of clean underwear.

And really that about covers it. I've been cranky all weekend, and I have a Biggest Loser weigh-in three hours from now. Dammit.

Shameless Bragging (You've Been Warned!)

So I think I've had an epiphany. I think I actually enjoy physical activity. Its amazing to me. I used to say exercise was bad for my health, because my thighs would rub together and set my shorts on fire. But I've done some serious physical activity, and a fire extinguisher was not needed a single time.

Please allow me a moment to brag, because I am so dang proud of myself.

On Saturday my dear Biggest Loser friend Stacey and I decided to go for a bike ride on Douglas Trail, which starts near Stacey's house. It wasn't bad and I was even able to walk the next day. Imagine my surprise when we calculated that we did 12 miles, plus a killer hill!

Next day I did 20 minutes on the treadmill to work out the kinks in my legs, and ran for three minutes of it, which amazes me because its been SO long since I've ran.

Yesterday I was inspired by the Best of Spark People email about your pet being a good exercise partner, so Max (picture below) and I went out for a walk. Now he's not used to being an exercise partner so I was alternating between dragging him and being dragged, but we did a serious four mile walk. And I will never ever trust my weather-obsessed husband for the forecast, because he said oh it will be nice honey! Nice translated into getting drenched and hailed on two miles from home. But we slogged through, and made it home soaking wet and covered in mud. But Max slept like a log last night!


Today was a 3.5 mile bike ride with my husband to Great Harvest for fresh bread, and a stop at the Good Food store for the fake egg salad (tofu) to go on it! It was fun to do that with Marmot, I think we're going to make that a tradition. The biggest high of the entire time was my husband being winded and I wasn't. He's always been in good shape, but the desk job is catching up with him. I was so proud of myself!

The weirdest thing is that after all this, I'm looking forward to doing more. I'm psyched about doing the four mile walk with Max again tomorrow, he has a new Gentle Leader collar and I think he could be the perfect exercise buddy!

So yeah, I apologize for the bragging but this has been an amazing week. I have not dropped a pound, but I'm still psyched!

*Sigh*

I'm proud of myself for what I've done so far. But I'm also feeling like I'm doing an uphill battle with the comparison game. I'm intensely competitive, as my husband and family can attest to. So when I'm losing weight (which has the added clout of being extremely personal!) its sometimes a good thing that I'm competitive because it spurs me on! But it also pulls me down when I'm constantly comparing my progress to somebody elses.

The scale has not budged in a week. Seriously. I'm doing the right stuff in terms of getting my physical activity in and monitoring what goes in my mouth, but I feel like I just haven't found the right combination. I'm going to be adding more physical activity starting this weekend, so we'll see what happens.

I'm still plodding along, and I'm still proud of myself. I'm just feeling a little frustrated.

Rewards

Its in ALL the do-not-do-this lists. You should never ever reward yourself with food. But after depriving yourself of food, it feels like the most natural thing right?

So I walked into the breakroom at work to heat up my cup of soup yesterday. I'd just gotten done with an incredibly stressful meeting and got some pretty big marching orders for what I need accomplished in a week. I was stressed, but confident that I can do it. I did well at the meeting. And I saw some food and thought, I deserve that.

Pause with me for a second while we answer a question- who deserves food? Starving people, the kids from the cable ads. Absolutely, they deserve food. People who have lost their jobs and need to feed their family. My dog Max deserves his kibble for guarding the house. Do I deserve food? I weigh 227lbs, I think its fairly obvious that I've consumed my fair share and someone else deserves it more.

Back to the breakroom- I'm waiting for the soup to heat up. And I look at what I was going to reward myself with. And it got me thinking again.

What do I deserve if I'm going to reward myself? Its going to be good. It may not be food either, but if I reward myself its going to be a damn reward. So that led me to: what did I do to deserve three-day old bagels? (Yes, I was actually contemplating 'rewarding' myself with three-day old bagels.)

Then I laughed outloud at myself. Really, what DO you do to deserve half a dried out bagel as a 'reward'. Kick a kitten?

Sometimes my thought processes make me shake my head. But I resisted the bagels, and I'm resisting the Special K bars today! I want a reward, and its going to be seeing my goal weight on the scale. Food is not something I deserve, or something that is a true reward because it only takes me back a step. I want the true reward.

Hope you all are having a fabulous week!

The Burn

Ok, so you are probably well acquainted by now with the fact that I'm a wimp. Its very true, and I will heartily admit it. I am not someone that 'thrives in a challenge' especially the physical type. I am the person who stops 30 minutes into a 40 minute workout DVD and says 'Oh I'm done now, it was starting to burn so thats good enough for me'

I did Jillian Michael's Cardio Kickboxing DVD today, 25 minutes of no-stopping-not-even-for-water and my-lungs-are-on-FIRE move after move. I seriously thought I was going to die. But then when I realized that I didn't die (!) I followed up with 30 minutes of Supercharged Sculpting. But I was looking at Jillian's body thinking yep, someday- and then suddenly had the thought, I'll bet she didn't get the body by not pushing herself.

Ulghhhh. I hate self-reflection. But reality is, I'm not going to get where I want without the burn. Or without feeling winded and sweaty. Or without having my undies ride up my ass in the midst of the tall box climb. Its just going to happen. I won't say I'm ok with that, because its a paradigm shift to think of this kind of physical activity being a daily thing. I'm not ok with it yet, but I'm learning to be ok with that.

Holy Smokes!

Its been forever since I've posted! Its been a blur of a few weeks, I've been getting up early and then going to bed early, but its been GREAT. I've also been on SparkPeople alot, they have a nice blog feature too that I've ignored until today, so maybe I'll kill two birds with one stone and put my blog entries into both places!

Ok, so today I was lucky enough to have this morning off, I didn't go into work until noon. I disregarded best intentions and slept until 9 (!) and then got out of bed to move to the couch to watch TV (I don't know why I'm fat, really).

I've been doing the Couch to 5k program, and today's workout was 10 minutes of walking, 4 of jogging, and 6 minutes of walking again. I started out, and was inspired by the sounds of my feet hitting the treadmill (wow, I sound like REAL runners at the gym!) but the shin burning feeling kind of intruded on that.

About a minute in, I was thinking wow, this suuuuuucks.

And then I started with the thoughts of maybe I'll stop at two minutes, I'm way out of shape for this.

I made myself banish the thought, but it came back at three minutes!

But I did it anyway, and told myself that I will NEVER get anywhere if I don't push myself! You don't gain muscle strength by only doing the exercises that are FUN, and feel good. Its going to burn, I need to start recognizing the BURN as the GOOD feeling!

SO yeah, I did my four minutes of jogging and I had a BIG grin on my face during my cool down walk. I totally rocked that four minutes, and I'm going to do it again tomorrow!

Amazing

I have to say- I never ever ever in my life thought I'd say this- but getting up early has been by far the best weight-related thing I've ever done for myself.

All last week I was up by 5am, doing 45-minutes to an hour of either treadmill or a workout DVD. My husband gets up at 6am and we have our usual morning routine getting ready for work. But I noticed some big differences. I didn't need coffee at work, because I'd had enough time to 'wake up' on my own. I felt SO good all day, major energy all day. And I've been completely psyched to have the entire evening to myself, without the chore of working out ahead of me. Yes, I'm tired earlier in the evening- I'll be honest, the first few days I was asleep by 8:30! But that's leveled out to about 9ish, and I feel amazing. And bonus, my husband says I'm not so crabby in the morning! lol

I'm totally messing that schedule up by two half-night shifts (7p-3a) to cover some funeral leave, but I'll be back to the early morning action on Thursday. I have a cold again (why??) but I'm hitting the Zicam and Theraflu and easing up on the workouts. Food choices this week haven't taken a decidedly vegetarian turn, which I'm really enjoying. Marmot hasn't minded so far!

Hope you all are having a fabulous week!

Fitness Fanatic

I did it! The alarm went off at four-thirty, and I crawled out of bed at five and did 45 minutes on the treadmill. I think I can honestly say that it was the first time I've ever voluntarily gotten out of bed early to exercise. :-D

Below is something I came across that just made me laugh- enjoy!

Preparation is Everything

I'm pretty proud of myself. Let me tell you why: I'm all set to face one of my biggest challenges. Meal planning!

*In my fridge are five bags of cut and washed veggies.

*along withBreakstone Cottage Cheese and Strawberry packs (sweet, but only 130 calories)

*Box of 100-calorie packs (Cheez-its and Oreo cookies)

*Lean Cuisine meals for lunch

*Breakfast shakes (because real breakfast makes me nauseated)

* Dinner is planned for tomorrow night: spaghetti with organic Bertolli tomato sauce, ground turkey and whole wheat noodles.

I have a daily calendar in my room with a package of foil stars- every day I get to give myself stars for drinking 64oz. of water, getting my 30 minutes of exercise, staying on target with my calories, getting fruits and veggies in, and a big gold star for a loss!

I also have it all set up to get up early to work out. Including having the coffee machine set for 5am, my headphones on the treadmill, everything ready to go. My hope is that I can stumble out of bed and get right on the treadmill. Maybe the beginning of a habit? I remember being wide awake at 4am once and getting up, I had the nicest morning. I think the key is the preparation, but we'll see. I'm exhausted today, so an 8pm bedtime might be the best preparation yet.

I hope you are all having a phenomenal week!

Lost: Motivation...Reward for Safe Return!

I keep trying to pull myself up out of this slump, and I keep getting sucked down. I blame salt.

Thanks to everyone who told me what they track. I'll be contacting someone about a Biggest Loser workout DVD!

Watched Biggest Loser tonight, which is always a kick in the ass for me. Is anyone else seriously sick of Tara winning everything? I know Helen gave her the 5 minutes with the cookie (go Helen!) and Tara looked piiiiiissed! lol I loved seeing the difference from the starting and the current weights, nothing like that to put my journey into perspective. I'm afraid to take pictures right now, I feel like I'm just stuck at 229 and going nowhere.

And my husband is on the treadmill as we speak. He's suddenly realized he has a gut and a double chin. Its like oh yeah, I'm not the only one that had the newly-married poundage problem. I know its sick and sadistic, but I love it. He's so supportive, I couldn't ask for better. And he has such a good attitude about doing this with me, to get rid of his belly and to help me get rid of 'the jigglies'.

I'm on the hunt for a good water bottle. The big ones, at least 32 ounces, like Weight Watchers used to have with the straws. I don't like the ones that you bite the straw (like the CamelBak) I'd rather have a regular straw. Any recommendations?

Headed for the treadmill. Hope you all are having a great week! :-)

Refresh

Ok, so I had a pretty bad start to the week. Not going into details (it involved fried food and alcohol) but it wasn't pretty. Totally came down to the fact that my end goal is to be at a healthy weight to have a healthy pregnancy. I have given myself the ultimatum of not trying until I weigh less than 150lbs. So here again, the baby bug bites me in the ass and I'm only 9.5lbs less than what I started at. I'm pretty proud of the 9.5lbs, but I still have 70-some pounds staring me in the face. I know part of it is being depressed because of the winter and being sick/injured, but mostly its disappointment that I let myself get off track.

So what does that mean?? Its time for a refresh. Renew, remind, refresh. A renewal of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. A kick in the ass, it's time to get back into gear.

*Goals Back Into Focus- I now have a sidebar list about why I'm doing this.

*Reward List Updated- on the sidebar. I really want a new pair of shoes!

*A New Daily Checklist- vitamin, 64oz. water, 30 minutes of exercise, etc.

*Groceries- I need my staples! Yogurt, 100-calorie packs, pickles and Crystal Light.

*New Tracking System- I love Lose It, but I still need something to track all the stuff on my checklist that isn't tracked in Lose It. I have a checklist program on my iPhone, but I'm wondering if a physical checklist (with pretty colored stars??) to track my progress.

I have a request- would you comment and tell me what you track/measure/obsess over in your daily journey? The best of the bunch will get a free Biggest Loser workout DVD of their choice.

You don't take a long journey without stopping to make sure that you're on the right road, and that you have enough gas to get where you want to go. This is my break in the travel, and now I'm back on the road.

Knee Update

Ok, so I had a rather disappointing visit to the doctor. Now I know that PMR is *not* their strong point. (Exhibit A: my right arm with a radial head fracture, that only recently completely regained an acceptable amount of strength and range of motion. Eight months after the fracture and I still have numbness and little strength, I was told to ice it. Seriously.)

So yeah, the knee. I have a specific spot on the side of my knee (if my anatomy is correct, its either my lateral collateral ligament or the head of the fibula) that I can press and get hella pain down my leg. Can't twist it, can't kneel. I'm sucking it up, but its uncomfortable to walk any good distance and its been over a week and a half since the injury. And the brilliant doctor had what advice? Round-the-clock ibuprofen for the next 10-14 days.

Called Dr. Dad and he was not amused. He's back from his conference so I'll be getting down there asap for an eval, and told me I'm off the treadmill til then. This SUCKS.

Ouch

My knee is not ok. I got on the treadmill and was just doing a 3.0 walk at 0 incline, but I only made it about 20 minutes before I noticed that my knee hurt. A LOT. Off the treadmill and a call to Dr. Dad, he said no more treadmill until he can look at it tomorrow. I'm actually bummed, and really hoping its ok. I already have enough problems with my arm after breaking it last winter, this seriously sucks. :-(

And I'm Back...

Its been way too long since I've posted! Some schedule changes at work (doing some 12's instead of my usual 8's) and still having the cough and congestion has been a real drag. I honestly think I've been depressed! And then the classic wipeout on the ice and a sprained knee....seriously, can it be spring already?? lol

But, I have a new 'project'. The Biggest Loser craze has hit my town, and the local NBC affiliate is doing one of their own! I'm on a team with three co-workers (we're the Foo-d Fighters!) and we're officially entered. We logged our starting weights (we're all within a 10lb range) and the challenge is for 12 weeks. And here we are!

I'm really excited! I needed this boost I think, especially after the slump of being sick. I've given my knee enough time to heal according to my Dad (an MD) so I'm hitting it on Monday. Go me!

Something new- alternating my calorie restrictions, hopefully to move on out of this plateau. Its between 1300 and 1800 and changes everyday. I'm stuck at 229.0 and its killing me!

Hmm....

This has been a weird two weeks. I got probably the sickest I've ever been, and I'm still dragging. I've worked two 12-hour shifts this week, one expected and one unexpected- I'm glad I had the day inbetween because I woke up feeling icky again so I ended up just resting most of the day. Today I'm having a hard time staying awake, and I really just want to go home and take a nap!

I weighed in today at 228.8, which means I'm only 0.6lbs above where I was when I got sick. I'm actually really surprised, because there were only a few days where I truly didn't eat anything. And I have not stepped on the treadmill or darkened the doorway of the gym since February 11th. Wow. I also noticed that I should probably get another set of progress pics.

I've been spending quite a bit of my down time reading, which I've really enjoyed- the latest books on my nightstand have been:


*Winning by Losing, by Jillian Michaels
Its a good book. I've been using her food section, which isn't so much of a plan as it is a suggestion (for my metabolic type) to eat a diet of more protein. I've always done well on the Atkins diet, and I knew that I wanted to increase my protein intake so this was a nice way of having actual 'numbers' to work with. The book is strangely motivating. I read it and I get all excited about what I'm doing and how great I'm going to look. And I'm usually immune to all things motivational!

*What to Eat, by Marian Nestle
Its like an aisle-by-aisle explanation of what is better for you, how to know what to choose (normal milk vs. organic milk vs. milk without hormones??) with a splash of food economics for general interest. Its so good that I'm actually going to condense my scribbled notes into a little cheat sheet to take with me to the grocery store!

*Secrets of a Former Fat Girl, by Lisa Delaney
Well this book just goes without saying, and you can win it below! :-)

Hope you are having a great week- its Thursday, which means its almost Friday!

Giveaway: Secrets of a Former Fat Girl

The Giveaway is over now, but stay tuned for another one starting later this week! :-)

I can't stand it, I have to share this book. Secrets of a Former Fat Girl, by Lisa Delaney is a gem of a book that I happened to pick up at the local library- about halfway through it, I got on Amazon and ordered two copies, one for me and one for you!

This book has a subtitle of How to Drop Two, Four (or More!) Dress Sizes- and Find Yourself Along the Way. I will say that this is NOT a diet book with recipes and exercise routines- this book is about getting the stuff with your head worked through on your weight loss journey and some really practical advice at changing all the things that have gotten you here in the first place.

There have been numerous oh wow moments while reading, a lot of lightbulbs coming up over my head- and its all written in an easy to read format. A few of those lightbulbs:

*You're Not Like Other People: this was talking about the pity party that we can get into, why do I have to be so obsessed with food, why do I always have to worry about calories when everyone else doesn't?? She talks about the fact that its just not you, move on. (Came at a perfect time for me, evil eyeing my office workers skinny little ass and her humongo container of lasagna- its just wrong). She then follows that up with some good fixes for those- some easy, some not- but they've made me think.

*Adopt INO, Its Not an Option: I blogged about this awhile back here, and its still awesome. Its a mind game, but it works!

*Links to great places to buy workout wear! I just ordered a bra (that was quite possibly engineered by NASA) from Activa.com and I'm psyched. She assumes that you probably don't know how to pick out good workout shoes and all that, and she's got great down-to-earth advice on what to get and why- it can completely transform a shopping trip, let me tell you.

I could keep babbling about this book, but I'll just give you the scoop on how to get it!

*For 1 entry- post a comment on this blog!

*For 2 entries- become a follower, and tell me about it in your comment!

*For 3 entries- link to this giveaway from your blog, become a follower and tell me about it (with link to your blog post please) in your comment!

And for anyone who doesn't want to enter but still wants the book, its $4.99 on Amazon, a great deal! The giveaway ends Saturday, February 28th!

Back in Action!

Yesterday I turned a corner, and I am so much better after the mutant cold/flu episode! I got pink eye on top of that, but that's rapidly improving, and I am one happy girl. :-)

So back to work! I feel like I've lost alot of ground this past week and a half, so I'm excited to get back to the gym. I'm going back on Monday after work for my strength routine, and hitting the treadmill again starting tomorrow. I feel like I was kind of slipping in how hard I was pushing myself on the treadmill after I started the strength routine, so I'm going to do my usual 30 minutes this weekend and then ramp it up bigtime next week.

And I have found my inspiration dress. I've been kind of looking for 'the dress' that I want to get in the size I want to be, which I know is silly but I really want to do it. The dress I've imagined is black, something that shows some skin, a dress that I wouldn't have ever considered wearing at my current weight- or even some past weights! But I really think I found it! I was walking through the subway and saw a shop with a seriously cute black sleeveless sheath style dress, with some white swoopy colorblocks on it. I was kind of daydreaming (or in a Theraflu haze) but it caught my attention and stopped me in my tracks. I should have just gone into the store yesterday, but I'm calling the store today to see what brand and how much. I'm hoping to find it online, and post a picture of it! And maybe, just maybe, get it if its not exorbitant.

And really, there may be a purpose. I just have this feeling about the girl that my cousin Dave is dating right now, I really think there may be a wedding, like maybe spring 2010. I would be at my goal weight by then, and I have to have something to wear, right?! :-)

Incidentally, during all this dress browsing, I think I found the dress that Heba wore on the Finale of BL Season 6, from Nordstroms. http://tinyurl.com/cthlfe It was a cute dress, but she really needed a better bra! :-O

I hope you all have had a great week, and here's to an awesome weekend!

Couch Patrol

Yep, still checking in from the couch. I've had quite the run with a respiratory crap disease, and I think I can honestly say I've never been this sick before. Today is the fourth day that I've missed with work, which is a record for me. I really have no idea what I'm sick with, because it is the combination of things- like a nasty head cold, plus inflamed tonsils, sore throat, hacking cough, body aches. Its like a mutant cold/flu.

The food thing has been strange this weekend too, I think the majority of my calories have come in from NyQuil and Theraflu. And can I just say, I'm so glad I sprung for the premium toilet paper last time I went shopping? We were out of Kleenex by day two of this nastiness, but the Quilted Northern Ultra Plush has been a little bit of softness in this miserable hacking week. lol

I'm seriously 0.2lb away from the 10-pound mark, and I'm so excited! As soon as I hit the mark, I'm having another giveaway. Any suggestions, the one thing that you would love to see as a giveaway?? Leave me a comment, let me know!

Hope you are all having a phenomenal week- here's to lots of pounds lost! :-)

The Good and the Bad

The Bad (I always like to get the bad over with first!) is that I've been so sick this weekend! I went to the ER and got a neb treatment to help my breathing on Wednesday night, but felt better on Thursday so I thought I was getting over it. Its gone downhill over the day, and my Dad (an MD) looked at my throat with a flashlight and said its about 2/3 closed. Its the nurses battle of do I go in and risk looking like I'm overreacting and freaking out --or-- do I wait until I can't breathe and have to get intubated when I walk in the door. Hmm. I know I'm totally overthinking it, but still. I'm going to be up for a few more hours yet, and Will is going to look at my throat again (after 600mg ibuprofen) and see if I'm getting better or worse.

The Good: I'm losing weight pretty quickly during all this! lol I weighed in today at 228.0 and I'm loving it. Although I did look in the mirror today and think damn, my face looks puffier even with weight loss, what the hell. Yeah RN, you have lymph nodes. Don't worry everyone, I'm safely confined in an office and don't actually take care of patients.

Just for icing on the cake? We don't have a working shower. I love our 95 year old house, but when the plumbing explodes (and we only have one bathroom) so you have to order parts from god knows where. We went to my Mom's for showers today, then Marmot brought me home and tucked me back into the couch. Valentine's Day is a sweet holiday, but true love is when you have a husband who will still kiss you when he tucks you in, even when you're hacking and disgusting. I'm a lucky woman. :-)

And We Have a Winner!

Jen Schumann, from Skinny Habits!

Jen dear, if you will just email me your address (my email is to the right) you'll have Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred at your door in a few short days!

Thanks to everyone who participated in the giveaway, and keep your eyes on the blog for another giveaway starting on Monday! (Yes I'm an addict I know, but this is fun!) :-)

Exhaustion...but a Victory!

So I ended up with a nasty cold, which is thankfully running through its course quickly- but quickly enough that I came home from work around 3 yesterday, and was getting a neb treatment in the ER by 7. I work so closely with the ER staff, the experience of being a patient was doubly miserable- but they were all very good to me, and they thankfully let me go home by 11! And as quickly as I got sick, I've been getting better- I still have a cough and headache, but I can take a deep breath without gasping!

But....a victory! I'm in a new decade! I don't know why I call it a decade, but I know I'm not the only one....but I weigh 228.8! The 230's are gone, and never to be seen again! Ok I realize that it probably has something to do with dehydration by not eating or drinking hardly anything in the last 24 hours, but still! I'm taking the victory and running with it. lol

The giveaway is going for a few more days, and I'm so excited to see who will win the 30 Day Shred DVD! The winner will be drawn on Saturday, so two more days to enter if you haven't- good luck everyone!

It's Not an Option

I'm so glad that people are excited about the giveaway! I can totally see these becoming a regular feature, its so much fun....any requests??

Yesterday was my second run through my strength routine at the gym. It pushes me! I'll be honest, I was doing leg curls and the last three reps of my 2nd set, my quads were burning, almost to the point where my eyes were tearing up. But two things came to mind- one, something I read on someone's blog about not shying away from pain. Why is it that we think we can be fit and healthy without sweat or pain? Now unhealthy pain isn't good, but the burn of a good muscle workout is exactly what's supposed to happen. I was doing plank exercises with the trainer during my program setup and was supposed to hold for 20 seconds, and I stopped at 18, saying I give up. He asked me why? I don't remember what I said, but I remember thinking because it hurt dumbass, why would I keep going when my arms are on fire and my whole body shakes because my abdominals are as strong as noodles????? I give up alot on workouts, always looking for the easy way out. But yesterday, I was reminding myself that relaxing and maybe not doing the full extension to minimize the burn, is not going to help me accomplish what I want it to! I'm working on pictures, and I have the perfect skinny picture- I'll post it soon and I think I'm going to stick a copy on my treadmill. I know what I want to accomplish, I know exactly what I want to look like and it will not happen by taking the easy way out.

The second things is something I read in a book, Secrets of a Former Fat Girl. I'm about halfway through it, and if it continues to be as good as as the first half has been, it may just be the next giveaway. She had a mantra of sorts called 'Its Not an Option' when it comes to breaking the rules. I decided to pick two reasonable rules. (No trying to hold yourself to 8 Jillian-style workouts a week or something that you know isn't going to happen!) I would so much rather be perfect on my calorie counting than exercise, so I made exercise my INO items- my 3x/week strength training rule, and my 3x/week 30-minute cardio rule. Case in point: I wanted to skip yesterday, because it was my day off and I had alot of stuff going on. But I laced up my trainers and told myself that not working out is not an option. I didn't even let myself entertain the idea of not going, I made it work in between everything else I had going on yesterday. And I went. I know it will be another battle tomorrow, but not going is not an option.

So that's my tale for today! I hope you all are having a great Tuesday, here's to a week of good choices and lots of water! :-)

Just Because!

Just because you are all such a supportive blog-community....just because I'm so happy that Blogspot exists and lets me journal my way through this journey....just because I'm so psyched that I've made these changes and they've actually even sorta stuck for over a month....and even when they don't (see the post below), I get right back on track.....and just because I'm 7lbs lighter than I was when I started this journey....

Just because of all of that, I'm doing a giveaway!

Everybody is talking about Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred workout DVD. I still maintain that the shred effect is on your lungs, because this is a serious workout! Its pure-Jillian-kickass style, she tells it like it is and puts you through your paces. No excuses- she's got 400lb people doing jumping jacks, so she expects full jumping jacks out of you! It's an awesome workout, my muscles ached for four days straight after my first time through Level 1. The reviews are impressive too, you can read them here.

So here's how you make it yours!

*For 1 entry- post a comment on this blog!
*For 2 entries- become a follower, or mention that you're a follower in your comment!
*For 3 entries- link to this giveaway from your blog and leave a comment!

I'll be picking a winner on February 14th, and the winner will receive their brand-new DVD in the mail 3-4 days later!

I hope you like the choice of prize- I'll be taking suggestions for future giveaways too!

Confessional

Saturday was not a good day. I went down, and I took a box of cake donuts with me.


After donuts for breakfast, there was chinese food for lunch. Dinner was buffalo wings, alot of bar popcorn and two mixed drinks....elgh, what was I thinking??? The only positive about the entire night is that after the two drinks, I got and drank two giant things of water instead of more drinks


I don't know if it was relief that a long work-week was over, or because I've been at this long enough that I was due for a total collapse of good eating principles, or just plain old brain-fart that would make me think that this is what I wanted to eat....but looking back over the whole day is pretty dismal!


Back on the wagon this morning though, and it feels good. I've only had coffee yet today, but I have my WW water jug ready to go, we're going to my parent's for lunch. My Dad is making my Gram's spaghetti sauce recipe, the very recipe that came with Gram from Italy in the early 1900's. My parents usually eat at least enriched pasta, if not whole-wheat, and I'm planning on avoiding any bread. Hoping I'm good to go!


I've got about 2 hours before we leave, so my plan is to post about my giveaway, then hop on the treadmill for an hour. Woo-hoo!


Hope you all are having a great weekend!

Run Fatboy Run

Have you seen this movie? I'm not really a fan of Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead totally creeped me out) but it was really good. I could really identify with poor Dennis building his running habit...and the movie was just plain funny.

I am incredibly sore today after my strength routine yesterday, full body head-to-toe damn it hurts. Thank god for ibuprofen. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical today, and I was pretty proud. I threw a towel over the monitor so I wasn't so focused on the minutes, and watched half the Season 6 finale of Biggest Loser. It was on low settings, but last week I did 10 minutes and my lungs started burning, and that didn't happen until 25 minutes. :-)

Food has not been so good today- old habits reared their heads, and I totally went for the chai latte and the cake donuts. I'm not going to beat myself up about it though. Tomorrow is grocery shopping day with my handsome husband and I'm excited about doing some meal planning. A normal M-F schedule is a wonderful thing!

Next post is giveaway! :-)

Goals

I'm really proud of myself today. I went to the gym after work tonight, and did my first strength training workout. I was alternately shocked at how hard it was to do 17.5lbs with one muscle group and yet how easy it was to do 50 with another muscle group. I will admit that I had trouble with the squats- I did take it down to 40lbs, and didn't quite get through the second set. But I will be doing it all within a week, I swear. Tomorrow is a non-strength day, but I've got my gym bag packed and ready to go so that I can use the elliptical at the gym tomorrow after work.

My weight has stayed pretty steady in the past week, so after a chat with Judy (she's married to a dietician, so she's practically an expert) decided to up my calorie intake from 1300 a day to 1500. I was losing with 1300 at the beginning, but with the steady increase in exercise, the weight hasn't moved. So I started that today with the extra 200 to see if that can give my metabolism a kick in the pants. And let me tell you- after a month of 1300, 1500 feels like absolute gluttony!

I was looking back at my life so far in 2009. Its become a very quiet, but very rich life. I've declined alot of invitations for fun things that I would have absolutely done before. And I'm so glad. I've committed to creating this new lifestyle for myself, and I'm doing it. I'm not allowing other things that aren't as important to distract me. I've made the choice to have five non-scale goals be my priority for 2009, and I have the greatest feeling of freedom by not taking on extra obligations. I like this life. I feel good, I know I'm going to feel even better, and I love it.

Biggest Loser on Tuesday was good, it was great to see all the other contestants back on the ranch. Joelle is gone, I'm so ready to be done with the drama and get back to the weight-loss. And oh yeah, I seriously got chills when Shanon hauled Sione across the gym. Damn girl!

I'm totally excited about the giveaways that I posted about earlier. So much in fact, that I think I might be doing my own. Stay tuned!

Give-Aways!

Chic Runner has a giveaway!

This is a book I opened at B&N and read about getting avocado spread on my Jimmy John's BLT. Saves me almost 200 calories and like 15 grams of fat, and its awesome! I don't know why I didn't get the book, but now we have a chance to win it!

And so does Confessions of a Overweight Shopaholic!

Can you tell I love giveaways?? lol

This one is a goody basket, and this is part of the surprise contents. :-)

Big Boobs

My dear co-worker Judy saw my goodbye pictures and progress pictures, and told me today that she could tell my stomach was getting smaller because my boobs look bigger! Gave me a big smile for the rest of the day, thank you Judy! :-)

I finished my strength training orientation with Joe today, and I'm psyched. And sore! I did some unbelievable squats on this machine, and wow. These are serious squats, I swear my ass almost touched the ground! Ok it wasn't even close, but they were the deepest squats I've ever done and it was awesome!

A major plus about the gym- its partner downtown is the It Gym, and everyone works out there with the pool, cycle room, etc. I didn't realize how much less activity that the gym here has, but I love it. Its so much less intimidating that way, and there were some majorly fat people there.

Another thing, I suddenly couldn't care what people think of me. I'm in workout clothes that I know are not flattering, and there are some skinny people there who can out-whatever me, but I. Don't. Care. Totally un-self-conscious, and I'm there to get gorgeous and buff. Very cool revelation today.

So thats what I have- how have you been doing??

Recap

Today I met with the trainer at the gym (last week had to be postponed) and that was awesome! We only got halfway through my strength building program, he's very focused on form which is great. I'm going to have a 45-50 minute routine, working the major muscle groups and the core. I go in tomorrow for the second half of the workout, and then I'm going to start my routine on Wednesday! I'm also hoping to get downtown for a Ease Into Cycling class with my sister if at all possible.

I gave the trainer guy (Joe) an abridged version of my plans for the year, the eating better, losing weight, having a regular workout routine, etc. He warned me not to burnout, that its common to have that happen. On one hand, I totally didn't want to hear it. Me, burn out?? No freaking way, I am on a roll baby! On the other hand, I hope I'm not heading down that track. I decided to try the elliptical for 10 minutes (whoa is that different from the treadmill!) and it gave me some time to think. Am I on a burnout path? My conclusion after 10 minutes of contemplation was no. The changes I'm making are small in the whole scheme of my life. Fewer calories, more steps. That's pretty much it. I haven't made any changes that I don't think I could do forever, all of them are workable- making better food choices, and a committment to daily exercise 3 days a week. They're not huge changes, they just take committment. I almost got a little irritated while thinking about it, because I don't want there to be any doubt. No burnout for me, I can totally do this!

Food choices have been a little weird today. Breakfast was my usual SF shake, nothing new there. I had half a takeout container of Indian food, which made for an interesting lunch. I know there was rice, some peas, chicken, possibly some eggplant, and only God knows what else! I couldn't even begin to guess whats in it to get a calorie count, so I'm just going to hope the curry will kill all the calories anyway. Hah! Dinner was crockpot chicken and rice, and two tablespoons of lingonberry sauce for a sweet treat after dinner.

Hope everyone is having a great Monday- its that much closer to Friday! :-)

Refresh for February

So its the first of February now, I've been at this weight loss thing for an entire month. I turned in my weight for the month of January at 230.0 even. Not bad, considering I'm down 7lbs, or 9lbs if you go from the highest weight I hit this month. I would normally be seriously bummed that that was all I could accomplish in a month, but when I consider the significant level of working out I've done (well, significant compared to 2008!) it makes me feel better. I can just see the changes starting to happen in my pictures, and that's really what is going to keep me pushing through now.

I think the biggest change in the past month has been my relationship with food. I honestly don't know whose blog I read it on, but it was the concept of food as fuel for your body. I've spent years of my life (ab)using food to feed my soul, thereby mistreating my body with overeating and not eating stuff that helps my body. I look at what I've eaten over the past month, and I have to say I have never eaten this many vegetables in my life! I'm excited, because a lot has changed this month and I'm looking forward to February and the changes that are coming.

As far as today , it was only so-so for eating, mostly coming down to the dog and I sharing a roll of Ritz crackers. Marmot hates it that I feed the dog, but one-Ritz-for-me-and-then-one-for-Max is what kept me from eating the entire roll myself! I'm not going to beat myself up for the so-so eating day, and just bask in the fact that I had the entire weekend with my husband. Still fighting off the cold, but god bless Zicam! I'm still not feeling good, but I'm questioning whether I'm still sore from 30 Day Shred or achy from being sick. Or achy from too much couch time! Either way, I'm looking forward to my gym appointment with Joe tomorrow. I even bought workout pants from Target.

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend, and here's to a great week ahead! :-)

Three Weeks In

Three weeks in, and I think I can see some toning as compared to the first set....woo hoo! :-)

My 25 Weight-Loss Randoms...

This truly is a journey, and I've picked up so many useful (or not-so-useful) things along the way!

1. Every time I join Weight Watchers, I get de-motivated and quit, then gain 10lbs. I've decided that WW isn't good for me. lol

2. I always thought I hated working out, but I think I've always just thought it 'wasn't my thing'. The funny thing is, I think it is. I totally dig working out once I get into a groove.

3. Kashi Trail Mix bars are the best- I love the almonds and cranberries. And Fiber One chocolate and oat bars are great for a chocolate fix.

4. The above bars should always be eaten with 64oz. of water per bar. For my GI system AND my co-workers sake.

5. It drives me nuts that Marmot really doesn't need to lose weight, but its also good motivation. I want to weigh less than he does, he's at 200lbs even.

6. My treadmill is borrowed from my sister Apple B., and I love it. I need a name for it though, because Carlos named his and I thought that was hilarious.

7. My Mom has struggled with a weight problem since she was in her late-20's, and I refuse to follow in her footsteps.

8. I have a goal that I've never mentioned, but I want to have plastic surgery after I'm done having my kids and at a steady healthy weight. My big sister Nelly B. had a tummy tuck, and she looks awesome- it wasn't about unrealistic expectations, rather it was dealing with the reality that skin can't be crunched away, no matter how tight the muscle underneath. And I refuse to be guilty for wanting to do it either. lol

9. I don't like talking about weight-loss with anyone outside of my bloggie's and close friends. Its so personal, and I get defensive if people start offering unsolicted advice. lol (except for my bloggie's, you all are awesome!)

10. I am unspeakably grateful to whoever invented the treadmill. Anyone else in a similar climate (too f-ing cold) will probably agree!

11. Marmot is really supportive, and I love him for it. It's made an amazing difference over previous (pre-husband) weight-loss attempts.

12. There is a level of depth to this weight-loss, a new relationship with food, that has made it different. And I think will ultimately be the key to permanent loss.

13. I have zero upper body strength, but I can't stand bat wings so upper body strength and toning is a priority for me.

14. Does anyone else worry about not bulking up? I heard someone talking about being worried about getting muscles that are too big. I almost laughed outloud, because she was at least the same size I am if not bigger. Seriously? I think we'd both prefer thunder thighs made of muscle, not fat.

15. I used to say I couldn't work out because I was allergic to sweating. I've also said that its dangerous for me, because when my thighs rub together they're likely to set my shorts on fire. Jokingly, of course.

16. I lost 40lbs in a summer with crazy calorie restriction (like less than 1000 cals/day) and obsessive running. Little bit of the anorexia background rearing its head.

17. The least I've ever weighed was 113lbs, the winter of 1999. I remember going two weeks only periodically having juice. Going through that sometimes makes me worry about getting too obsessive about the dieting and calorie restriction. But so far, so good.

18. I don't know why, but this time I'm not expecting instant results. There is a calculator on my iPhone app Lose It that says if I continue with my current plan, I'll reach my goal weight of 145 by November 25th, 2009. I'm totally okay with that.

19. This is too damn many randoms. lol

20. My Dad and I were talking about family history (we're Italian) and he said I have the traditional Italian grape-stomper build. I asked him what that was, and he said it was short with broad shoulders, wide (childbearing) hips, short thick legs and dark hair. lolol

21. A side-effect of losing weight that I'm looking forward to is smaller boobs. However Marmot is going to be disappointed if that happens. lol

22. I pulled a package of WW bagels out of the back of the cupboard that expired six months ago, and they were perfect. That horrific moment has reminded me that I need to read more ingredient labels and be aware of what goes in my body.

23. Biggest Loser is the most inspiring show I've ever seen, and I would pay a $50 finder's fee to anyone who could direct me to wherever I could see previous seasons!

24. I love Jillian Michael's, her no-crap attitude is a huge boost. An amazing body doesn't come for free.

25. I refuse to pretend I'm happy with my body. But I'm changing it, the way it supposed to be done!

To Walk, or Not to Walk...That is the Question...

I did Jillian's 30 Day Shred on Thursday night and wow, felt it immediately. Could hardly walk the next day, so I just did 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill before work. Was progressively feeling more achy and stiff throughout the day, but mostly just ignored it and took an ibuprofen.

Today- now today I can literally hardly move. It feels like after I had surgery, where I want to avoid flexing my abs! I've also got a head cold well underway, so I'm hitting the Zicam to keep it at bay. I was going to just do 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill today, but got talked out of it by my husband- when your body is healing, don't give it more to heal. Rest is good. So I'm rather disappointed (seriously) but I'm taking the day off from working out at Marmot's request. I'm still not convinced that I shouldn't just do 30 on the treadmill though.....

But the day is not lost! I'm taking some time to relax, read blogs (prepare for an onslaught of comments!) and make a list of books to get at the library. I'm also doing my List of 25 Random Weight-Loss things after seeing Tony's 25 Randoms today. Ok, so maybe a day of relaxing won't be so bad. :-)

Does the Shred Refer to the Effect on your Lungs??

30 Day Shred just kicked my ass. I didn't kick ass (I can't get my feet to actually hit my ass, yet) but Jillian did. I'm slightly intimidated that I could only barely get through the cardio. Tomorrow I will probably do one of my Firm videos (longer, but I've never breathed fire with the Firm, or swore in a workout as much as I did tonight) and then do 30 Day Shred on Saturday. I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill this morning. I think I'm going to sleep well tonight!

New Motivation!

I need some new music.

Music is pretty much what keeps me going on the treadmill, along with episodes of the Biggest Loser. My own criteria for good workout music is something with a strong fast backbeat, a tempo I can match with my feet. My latest favorites are:

*Hot N' Cold by Katy Perry
*See You Again by Miley Cyrus (yes I know- gag)
*Here It Goes Again by Ok Go

I posted on the BLBE2 forum that I'd like to put together a Greatest Hits CD for our teams, all the songs that we consider motivational. Give me your input here or on the forum, and I'll be creating our very own album!

I Like Being Sore (Well, Getting There...)

This week has been about collaboration. I'm in a huge project at work that has half a dozen different departments all inputting into some monumental changes. A pilot has been going this week, and its been awesome to see every department coming together with their expertise and input, all with the end goal of providing phenomenal patient care. Its also fricking exhausting!

The last two nights I've hit the treadmill pretty hard (an hour each night) and last night it was pretty late. I'm not sure if that's why I've been dragging all day or if its just the drain of having my mind working overtime with the pilot, but I can barely keep my eyes open.

But I have a new thought in the back of my mind. I was sore this morning. Not just sore, but like staggered out of bed partially bent over because apparently I have muscles in my back kind of sore. I was bemoaning this to my favorite co-worker Judy, and she said something quite profound- I can't remember her exact words, but the premise was "Sore is good. Learn to love sore, because it means you've accomplished something." First thought is, no ma'am. Sore is not good, my biceps hurt from brushing my teeth! But through the day as my arms ached and my legs were stiff, it actually started to make me smile when I felt it. Why? Because I seriously kicked ass on the treadmill last night. An hour?? Three weeks ago it was a struggle to do 30 minutes! I can tell the difference, I can feel the changes in my body. And I think I kind of even like being sore. :-)

Gym Time!

I have it all set up, I'll be meeting Bridget at the gym at 4:00 to set up a strength training program. I'm aiming for 3 days a week, and doing cardio on my own. We'll see what she says. I'm excited!

I will admit that I was disappointed that the there was only one class after 3:30pm, and it was an intermediate yoga class. The other gym is downtown and quite busy (because its new and has a pool) but I might have to venture down there for classes. I was looking at the Ease into Cycling class, the Cardio Mix and the Strictly Strength. My goal is to have tried at least three different classes by Valentine's Day!

Workouts: Refreshed

Anyone else obsessed with the refresh button? I love that button. I use it at on the blogs (any new comments?) at work for queue's that we work, etc etc. Its so versatile. Sometimes it shows no new cases to work on. New comments to my blog. An update to someone elses blog. Usually its something good.

I'm also using it in a mental sense, a refresh of my journey. It makes me think of taking a deep breath- in through your nose, filling your lungs, and out through your mouth.

I've seen myself take some very tiny little steps away from the path I need to be on this week. I didn't work out on Friday, for no reason that I can think of now and didn't quite stick to my calories yesterday, just plain because I wanted to eat more. Small little steps that I recognize as inevitably leading back to being fat and unhappy. I'm still thrilled with the progress I've made and committed to sticking with it, which I think has made me overly leery of any steps leading elsewhere.

That brings me to today, Sunday- the day of rest. I'm also thinking of it as my day of renew, remind, refresh. Its my weigh-in day, and I'm not overly thrilled with my weight, although it is one pound less than last week. But a reflection of my eating shows that I wasn't quite as close to my calorie goals as I could have been, making conscious choices to eat more. My workout has become a routine, which is a bummer. I've added in hand weights, but still- meh. Nothing new or exciting.

So, in the spirit of refresh, I'm refreshing my workout situation. I'm ok with my food intake right now- I need to stick to my calories, continue to work on eating the protein, no huge changes. But the workout is in for a overhaul.

I have a confession. We live across the street from a gym. Seriously. And while maintaining a membership of $36 a month (subsidized through work) I have been to the gym twice in the two years that I've lived in this house. Pathetic, I know. But as part of this refresh for the week, I'm making an appointment with a trainer to set up a strength training plan. I'm happy with the cardio, doing my treadmill or DVD workouts at home, but I'm concern about weight loss without building muscle and toning. God forbid I have horrific bat wings. I've started carrying 3lb or 5lb hand weights on the treadmill, but I need more than that.

My sweet husband also helped me setup the Girly Room. We have two extra bedrooms and this is the one that has the guest bed, two dressers and two tiny closets that I have used as a giant closet for as long as I've lived here, and has been dubbed the Girly Room. The bed has been relocated, the treadmill has been moved in, along with my Transfirmer, stability ball, weights and workout DVD's. I've arranged it so that I have enough room to do an entire workout DVD (without rearranging the living room). No TV up there, but no problem- I'll be using my widescreen laptop on the dresser playing the DVD. The entire room is set up so that all I have to do is walk in and start. I'm excited!

Part of the refresh this week has been from some awesome people. Marlys is a friend from work, and she has been inspiring to me this week. She's reminded me that I can go out of my comfort zone to make this happen (like the gym), which was just the right push to take a second look at the gym I walk by every day. She also made me realize some places where I have the time to do this (before work, which I've never considered). The other was Byron and his wife Sarah, who re-opened my eyes to the myriad offerings of the gym and what it could help me accomplish. All three are awesome people, with the right advice at the perfect time. Thank you!

Workout goals for this week:
*Meet with trainer and set up 2-3x weekly strength training program.
*Put together a gym bag, with necessities for leaving directly from work going to the gym.
*Setting a new minimum of 40 minutes of on the treadmill (up from 30) or the 30 minute Supercharged Sculpting workout DVD.

Miscellaneous for the week:
*I'm going to invest in two pairs of workout pants, as the ones I have are from 40lbs ago and not fit to be seen in public.
*I want to buy Jillian's 30 Day Shred DVD, to change things up a bit.
*I'm going to find out what other services the gym offers (there are tons) and pick two that I want to take advantage of. I'm hoping to find a nutritionist, or maybe a class I'd like to take.
*I'm going to post some more numbers (10% mark, 1/2 way to goal mark, etc) on my blog, and also post my rewards. I'm so close to meeting my first one!

I hope you all have had a fabulous weekend, and here's to an awesome week ahead! :-)

Yay for Weekends!

Its the weekend!!

I'm so ready for a weekend. Its been an amazingly stressful week at work, and although there was ZERO stress eating, I'm so glad that the workweek is done.

Today was the first day of my Monday-Friday day job, which is such a switch after years of rotating shifts and weekends. I'm home so early! This is the first time I've ever been home from work before my husband.

I logged in 230.5 today, which is another pound lost. It is amazing to me that this works. lol Ridiculous, I know! But some level of calorie restriction and regular exercise is apparently the trick, and I'm thrilled.

So yay for sticking with it....and now I'm off to a purse party, wish me luck for sticking to the budget!