Rewards

Its in ALL the do-not-do-this lists. You should never ever reward yourself with food. But after depriving yourself of food, it feels like the most natural thing right?

So I walked into the breakroom at work to heat up my cup of soup yesterday. I'd just gotten done with an incredibly stressful meeting and got some pretty big marching orders for what I need accomplished in a week. I was stressed, but confident that I can do it. I did well at the meeting. And I saw some food and thought, I deserve that.

Pause with me for a second while we answer a question- who deserves food? Starving people, the kids from the cable ads. Absolutely, they deserve food. People who have lost their jobs and need to feed their family. My dog Max deserves his kibble for guarding the house. Do I deserve food? I weigh 227lbs, I think its fairly obvious that I've consumed my fair share and someone else deserves it more.

Back to the breakroom- I'm waiting for the soup to heat up. And I look at what I was going to reward myself with. And it got me thinking again.

What do I deserve if I'm going to reward myself? Its going to be good. It may not be food either, but if I reward myself its going to be a damn reward. So that led me to: what did I do to deserve three-day old bagels? (Yes, I was actually contemplating 'rewarding' myself with three-day old bagels.)

Then I laughed outloud at myself. Really, what DO you do to deserve half a dried out bagel as a 'reward'. Kick a kitten?

Sometimes my thought processes make me shake my head. But I resisted the bagels, and I'm resisting the Special K bars today! I want a reward, and its going to be seeing my goal weight on the scale. Food is not something I deserve, or something that is a true reward because it only takes me back a step. I want the true reward.

Hope you all are having a fabulous week!